Anger

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BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.

Eph 4:26-27 (NASB)

Well, as I start this blog I have to confess that I have blown it here more than once in my experiences.  All too often I can relate to the teaching of Paul in how hard it is to know what we are to do as Christians and yet we do exactly the opposite.  Take a look at Paul’s teaching:

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.

Romans 7:15 (NASB)

Knowing what God expects of us and failing to do them causes us to commit several sins.  First of all, we allow ourselves to become angry (and sin in the process), losing our temper.  We then allow the sun to go down on our anger (falling asleep angry).  We also illustrate what Paul speaks of when he says that even he (and I am sure he never responded to anything as badly as I do) did not know what he was doing; instead of practicing the righteousness of God he did the exact opposite.

When we as Christians fail in such cases, not only do we commit sin but we also open the door to Satan and give him the opportunity to use whatever issue we are angry about to drive a wedge between us and our covenant marriage partner.  Many, many marriages are destroyed by this and in each such case Satan gains a victory.  In these victories, the very image that Christ instituted as an example of Christ and the Church (Eph 5:31-32)  are tainted before the watching world.

In my case, a trigger to depression can be the way I react to situations.  When I, as Paul, find that I react in the complete opposite as to how I should, I get depressed.  One of the things I get argued with about is the fact that in every case I have ever heard about (aside from the VERY rare actual medical causes of depression) depression can always be traced back to sin issues in a persons life.  When I react like a pagan is expected to do, knowing better, I get depressed in myself.  Just like Paul proclaims, “For what I am doing, I do not understand.” In other words, I think “where did that come from?” Therefore, my sinful reaction to a situation is the trigger in me for the depression.

I have heard it said that “The problem is often not the real problem.”  Often in the covenant marriage relationship when disagreements arise, we become angry over secondary issues, when the real problem is allowed to go unresolved.  It is easy to have some hidden agenda, disappointment, etc. which makes us react to other more minor issues in very un-Christian ways.  In these cases we have failed usually to follow the command to not allow the sun to set on our anger.  In other words, the real problem in the first place was not dealt with thoroughly from the start, but allowed to fester and eat at us until we react to an entirely different matter in ways that are completely inappropriate.

A failure I have is the fact that I fail in applying Phil 2:3 in such cases:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Phil 2:3-4 (NASB)

If we as Christian couples communicate effectively, we can prevent the Devil from gaining a foothold, and in the process we deny him the opportunity!

 

This post was written by

kc5lei – who has written 50 posts on One Flesh Ministries.

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